Lalagirl16's Head-canons and Rants
by lalagirl16
Summary: Like my OC? On the story cover? You don't care? Ok. Right. Summary. Ya know you can read the title.
1. Old Man Mcgucket Head-canon

Hi Readers! This is just a small little collection of my head-canons on Gravity Falls. Then later it will probably be me ranting and getting all mad that my head-canons were hopelessly wrong. More on that later. But this Chapter is about my head-canon on Old Man Mcgucket.

First off, I believe he was the author of the journals. For many reasons but that's not what I'm here to talk about. I think he was curious about the mysteries of Gravity Falls and recorded them in books to keep track of his research.

NOW HERE'S WHERE IT GETS CRAZY.

Mcgucket always felt like he was being watched, and one day encountered, or was visited by Bill Cypher. Mcgucket was cautious around the demon at first, but eventually started to trust him, unknowing of Bill's secret intentions to construct a gateway of unimaginable power using Mcgucket's knowledge recorded in his journals.

When Mcgucket found out he was betrayed, he hid, knowing Bill has on his trail. He wrote in the final journal to never trust anyone in Gravity Falls, and cut off his sixth finger, staining the Bill Cypher page with blood, finishing the page by writing "DO NOT SUMMON AT ALL COSTS."

With his finger gone, he went into hiding as an insane local kook. He still kept an eye on Gravity Falls, just like the one he was hiding from.

Whew. Now that's off my chest. What do you think of my head-canon? What's your head-canon on Old Man Mcgucket? Leave me a review! That's all for now! Go eat a book.


	2. There Are Episodes to be Ranked

So I was wondering what to talk about today, and I thought, "Why not make a list?" Lists are fun. So here's a list.

My Rankings of Gravity Falls Episodes! (Keep in mind that I love every single one!)

20. Boyz Crazy. Ok ok! Stop with the angry reviews! Let me explain. I don't hate this episode...it just seemed off to me. It wasn't as funny and the plot just wasn't very interesting to me. Also Mabel seemed out of character but she was kind of going crazy... But the one thing that saved this episode from my wrath is the fact that Wendy and Robbie broke up! Finally.

19. Dipper vs. Manliness. Dipper is too adorable! It killed me to see him embarrass himself on the manliness tester machine in front of literally everyone in Gravity Falls. Yeah, they were all in the same diner that morning. Even Old Man Mcgucket! :D But while he was with the Manitours training to be a man, he mostly just encountered a lot of pain, which made me want to rip my eyes out. But I never do because that's totally gross. Thankfully, Mabel saves the day with the humorous B plot, in which she helps Stan become more charming to win Lazy Suzan.

18. The Land Before Swine. The one word to describe this episode. Eh. Nothing really stood out in this episode. I have no problem with it. The humor was good, I LOVED OLD MAN MCGUCKET. But I guess it was missing the special touch all the other episodes received from the amazing writers.

17. The Hand That Rocks the Mabel. Why is this episode so low? One word. Again. But not that one word. The one word is not again. Oh whatever I spoiled the moment. Gideon. I hate him. I HATE him.

16. Fight Fighters. I loved the jokes and game references in this episode. The only problem I had with it was the lesson. Dipper concludes that he was wrong to have Rumble do his dirty work. True, a good lesson. But in the scenario...it actually wasn't the worst idea. In fact, it would have worked if he had gotten like Wendy, or um...someone. Old Man Mcgucket? Just kidding. I guess he didn't have a lot of options. And it's not Dipper's fault that Rumble was psycho.

15. Boss Mabel. A hilarious way to end the hiatus a bit ago, Boss Mabel was a great episode. I loved Stan on Cash Wheel, and was longing to try a chip-acker. But Mabel was portrayed as sort of stupid right before she cracked and yelled at everybody. I mean who would give a horrible monster a key out to have a break? Except for Soos. But Mabel's not dumb. She's awesome.

Deep End. Just gonna say, this was one of the funniest episodes, and I have almost to reason to hats it. The poor kid in solitary, Gideon on Stan's chair, Mabel blackmailing Dipper's first kiss... This was the one episode where I was actually cheering for Gideon. But it will NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. EVER. Mr. Poolcheck just gave me nightmares.

13. Dreamscaperers. Bill Cypher is amazing. This episode hinted at stuff to come, and secrets to be revealed. (Including Mr. Tummy) But that part...where Dipper sees a memory and thinks Stan hates him...well...I CRIED OKAY! Oh and the end. CURSE YOU GIDEON! GO DIE IN A PIT! (*ahem) Right.

12. Little Dipper. Just gonna come right out. Mabel and Dipper were both big jerks in this episode. Wait...I mean little jerks! (Ba boom crash) But seriously! As much as I like to brag about winning, I hate it when others do it, and Dipper was obviously bragging to Mabel. You can understand why Mabel was upset. But when Mabel retaliates, she doesn't brag, she goes to full fledged bullying. Come on. Mabel is just a jerk throughout this episode till they make up. BUT IT WAS SO FUNNY. The invisible wizard is watching...

11. The Legend of the Gobblewonker. No problem with this episode. It's just not one that's so super amazing. It barely missed the top ten. YAY FOR OLD MAN MCGUCKET! Ernie really should have come to his retirement party...

Part 2 coming soon! Review what you think so far or suggestions on what I should talk about. Thanks!


	3. There Are More Episodes to be Ranked

Good job readers! You defiantly lived up to my expectations of angry reviews! I'm proud. But they are not my favorite to read so...

WARNING. THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS OPINIONS. AND THEY MIGHT BE (gasp!) DIFFERENT THEN YOUR OPINIONS!

Okay, now that's off my chest. So let's start part two!

10. Double Dipper. Admit it. You've repeating the barfing up silly string joke. I have. Many. Many. Times. All I can say is that this was a cloning episode done right. Thank you writers!

9. Summerween. I will probably watch this every Halloween for the rest of my life. Hey that's coming up isn't it?...But anyway. The Summerween Trickster is the Gravity Falls creature that scares me the most. Also, I think he sort of resembles Oogie Boogie from The Nightmare Before Christmas. They are both monsters made of something weird. Oogie boogie is made of bugs. Both of them give me the creeps. Oh and Waddles in the businessman suit? ADORABLE.

8. The Legend of the Gobblewonker. After watching the pilot episode, Gompers the Goat was my favorite character. (He IS a character. An important one.) But then came Old Man Mcgucket. Even before my theories about him were born, he was still my favorite for just being insane. Kind of like me. Plus, this episode has a sweet lesson to it, and made me feel sorry for Stan.

7. Headhunters. I've always been a sucker for mystery stories. I would called Dipper and Mabel the mystery twins any day! This episode was packed with humor including the fake IDs and Mabel wax figure ideas. Plus I love this shows cool plot twist. It was also in the episode where my theory about Old Man Mcgucket came to life. He asks Mabel and the Wax Museum Re-opening Ceremony if the wax figures are alive. Was he trying to warn them? Did he know? It's a myyyyssssttttteeeeerrrryyyyyy.

6. Tourist Trapped. This is one of the best pilot episodes for any show I've ever seen. Somehow in those twenty minutes, you learn the twins' affection for each other, some background of Gravity Falls, and a bit about the main cast, laughing and on the edge of your seat the whole time. And the gnomes. They were my favorite plot twist. EVAR.

5. Gideon Rises. What a season finale! The giant robot, return of the gnomes, Dipper beating Gideon in a fist fight! (Go Dipper!) And of course...that memorable scene at the end. I mean woah. Stan? Whatcha doing with a gateway of ultimate power? Do you have a license for that? Are you gonna take over the world or something crazy? I dunno. I hate cliffhangers.

4. Carpet Diem. I loved seeing the twins fight in this episode. Stop typing angry reviews! Stop it! Let me explain! I know I complained about that very thing various times last chapter! I KNOW. It's long and complicated. But I liked how they were in a battle for the spare room. Maybe I should do a chapter on my head canon about that room...maybe. But continuing. Body swapping is a common episode topic in shows, especially cartoons, but instead of using the cliche approach to this concept, the writers took a different angle. The cliche plot is usually two or more pairs of characters fighting or something because they are sure each other's lives are easier then theirs. Then they swap bodies somehow and learn what it's like to be in each other's shoes. No big signs of that in this plot. But I loved how they gave a shoutout to that cliche plot by using it in the Waddles and Soos switching B plot.

3. Irrational Treasure. In Quentin Trembly we trust. BTW have you ever read the Northwest cover up document? I'll paste what it says at the end of this chapter. The reason I love this episode so much is probably because I have been in a similar situation to the one Mabel was in, that is being bullied for being weird and silly, then trying to change. Oh and since I haven't said this yet in this chapter...DIE GIDEON! DIE A SLOW AND PAINFUL AND HORY DEATH! He did look girly in that outfit...

2. The Inconveniencing. Da Smile Dip. Onwards AOSHIMA! The lamby lamby dance! God, I love this episode. And at the same time, it's super scary. I mean Mabel possessed by a ghost? Upside down? Turning her head 180 degrees? Creepy...

1. Okay. So you can probably use the process of elimination to figure of that my favorite Gravity Falls episode currently is indeed The Time Traveler's pig. Those of you who skipped to here, I know what you did. Go back to the top. Waddles. Is. Best. Pig. When I saw him, I fell in love. Another thing I loved about this episode was what Dipper did for Mabel. I mean, think about it. He gave up his (most likely) only chance ever to be with Wendy, so his sister could be happy. That shows a real sibling bond there. And yes, Mabel is a witch.

That's my list! Review! Give me a topic! I'll talk about it! Gotta go round up a mob now.

P.S.

Let it here be recorded that Nathaniel Northwest, famous in his native Gravity Falls for standing in the park and hitting himself with a large boating oar until he blacked out, was chosen to become the patsy mayor of Gravity Falls. Northwest spoke in a series of grunts and screams and often yelled his trademark phrase: "I am going to eat this entire oak tree because I am a powerful wizard!"

The fabled founder of Gravity Falls was, in fact a fraud. His last moments on Earth were spent choking on a giant piece of bark, attempting to live out his beautiful dream. He was hated by everyone that knew him. He will not be missed.

Thomas Jefferson was actually just two kids in an overcoat standing on each other's shoulders. The current and forever President of the United States is actually Santa Claus. Under the reign of Mr. Claus, America is not a democracy, but a jollyocracy. The statues at Mount Rushmore are actually gigantic presidential-faced robots that will be called into action when America needs them the most. An enormous, evil, time-traveling baby from another dimension is frozen in an Atlantic glacier. Fortunately,glaciers never melt, so we should be fine. Writing jokes for cartoons is more important than sleep. If you recite the pledge of allegiance backwards, you'll gain secret wizard powers! (This one is true, kids! Try it at home!)

The true founder of Gravity Falls was: Sir Lord Quentin Trembley III, Esq.


	4. Shipping is my Buisness

Okay Readers. So a while back I was asked which Gravity Falls shipping I liked best, to which I answered DipperXPacifica. Why? Well that's why this chapter exists. First, some background.

A long long time ago...I watched my first episode of Gravity Falls. Which was actually Double Dipper,(the pilot was my second) and I was presented with a Dipper and Wendy love story. After watching the episode, I just say there, contemplating what I had just watched. Then I went to good old YouTube to watch the pilot. Then another. And another. Heck, I marathoned it throughout those two days! And some time after, I was think about that seventh episode, and all those girls at the party.

Mabel: No. I was anti-pinecest before I knew that term.

Wendy: I don't know. It's just...I don't really know. I have neutral feelings for this shipping.

Candy: She's cute and I'm guessing smart. Sounds familiar...but nah.

Grenda: ... Has anyone ever shipped her with anybody?

Pacifica: Oh she's so awful! She cheated! She's so mean to Mabel! In the eighth episode, Irrational Treasure, she made Mabel depressed! She even went at Stan! But she's never really actively gone at Dipper...hmmm...

Pacifica hasn't received a lot of screen time yet, so we don't know much about her family, her personality (she's probably not just a one dimensional jerk), or her reasons for bullying, specifically Mabel. As cheesy as it sounds, a lot of bullies attack happy people because they are jealous of their happiness. Have you ever just woken up grumpy and wonder why everyone is smiling so obnoxiously.

The whole idea just seems romantic to me.

Okay. I just rambled on for like forever, and I could have just said that one sentence. I suck.

Wait. I lied. I know the perfect match for Dipper! ME!

DON'T TELL ME THAT DOESN'T COUNT! DON'T CRUSH MY DREAMS!

Leave a review! I need ideas for future topics so please please please give me one via PM. I'll credit you for it! Kay bye!


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